Archive for the ‘General stuff that makes me happy’ Category

Happy Tuesday.

With the modern stresses of workin’ 9 – 5 I’ve found no better way of relaxing than a few friendly Mum jokes.  A good friend recently left the office I work at and it seemed only right to pack him off with a good Mum gag…(no pun intended) in his card.

I drew up some fitting leaving / Mum joke tributes and then my colleagues rated them, and picked the best one to go in the card. These were the candidates:

It’s been a pleasure working with you for the last few months
And it’s always a pleasure working your mum.

We’ll miss you!
Like your Mum misses cock / the late night bus after too many vodkas

Stay in touch!
Leave you’re number with you’re Mum – we’ll all be seeing her later

We just wanted to say thanks!
To your Mum – but I guess I can tell her later

We’re sorry to hear you’re leaving
Sorry like you’re mum after another night in the cells for drunk disorderly

Best of luck with everything!
You’ll need it. If you turn out like you’re Mum you’ll be addicted to crack in no time
And the winner was….

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Sorry Chris

Robot Jokes

Posted: October 1, 2010 in General stuff that makes me happy

Happy Friday. At long last.

Yesterday I somehow managed to get into making robot based jokes with my friend Rob. I thought I’d share these.

Q: Why was the robot worried about kissing his girlbot?

A: Because he’d been eating dalek.

Q: When she got all in his face about it what did he decided to do?

A: Lever

Q: Where did this robot go straight afterwards?

A: Out on the pulley

Q: What’s a robots favourite type of exercise?

A: Cicuitboard training

Q: What symptoms do robots with tourettes suffer from?

A: Robot TICs

Q: Why did everyone love robo dog so much?

A: Because he was always wagging his digitail

Q: Why did the girlbot dump her botfriend?

A: He couldn’t get hardware

Q: Why are robots so good at robot dancing?

A: They have natural algorithm

Anyone got any additions?